Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Now You're Speaking My Language...

Before I go on here, I need to say one thing, by way of preface.

Yes, I am hooked on Facebook. Yes, I know that makes me a dork. No, I don't care. I've been a dork for many reasons before now... this is nothing new. =D

Anyway. Here's how this fits in...

I took a quiz on Facebook the other day-- *What's your Love Language?* I know there is a book out there about this, and I've even had discussions with people about it. But I've not read the book, so for all I know my results from Facebook could be totally bogus. It does, however, make good sense to me. The premise is that there are several *personalities* when it comes to how we express love, and what speaks love to us the most. You answer a few questions, and you find out what your particular *love language* is-- things like physical touch, kind words, helping actions... you get the idea. This is supposed to help you and those you love know how best to communicate love in meaningful ways, or something like that. Like I said, I haven't read the book.

My love language is *receiving gifts*.

At first I thought, great. Confirmation for all those people out there who think I'm selfish and greedy. Gimme gimme gimme. Lovely. But when I read the description, I though to myself, *Self, that IS you!* And it's not as negative as it at first sounds. Here's the description:

"Your primary language of love is receiving gifts. Gifts are visual representations to you, either big or small - even a small gesture through a gift can make your day, your week, your year. Not to say that all gifts are good - but sometimes, a small thoughtful gift is worth more than a thousand words."

Now here is a bit of why I think this does describe me. And no, this is not just a ploy to get everyone to send me stuff (even though I do have a birthday coming up.... No! Just kidding! Not about the birthday, about the hint.)

I keep things. Ticket stubs, dried flowers, random bits and pieces from the people, places, and events that have shaped my life. I like to have them around, to remind me of special occasions and special people. I have boxes and boxes of these things, both at home (even though I did pare it down considerable before I moved here... sorry, mom, it's still a load of stuff!) and now here. I am not a packrat for the sake of keeping things... I don't mind throwing stuff away. But not stuff that has meaning or sentimental value. I find that very, very difficult.

I also love giving people things. I'm a poor student, so these days it's generally cheap stuff (like noodles for Nathan, or a toast holder for mom, or Primark pj's for the bubbs). But there is really nothing better for me than finding the Perfect Gift for someone. I love it... even if I'm not there to see them open it. I love gift-giving holidays for this reason, but I equally love surprising someone with something random. It makes my day to share something tangible, to say *I'm thinking about you* with some actual thing that made me think of whoever it might be. I would love to have more money one day, a nice paying job, so I can buy stuff for my friends and family. So it's good to be my friend, you see. =D

And then there's the ultimate: getting a parcel in the post. I have always loved getting mail, ever since I was a kid. I longed to be one of the kids at camp who got called up at mealtime to get their letter or package. I wished all through college and seminary that I would look in my little box in the sub or the SPO and have a notice to collect a package. Now, being here, getting anything in the post is great (even if it's local)... but a parcel from home is the absolute best! It just makes my day-- my week-- my month-- even if it's just peanut butter, or bacon, or a burned cd, or, well, anything! It doesn't really matter what kind of stuff it is, it's just the getting stuff that makes me happy.

Of course, because I also keep things, it makes it hard for me to use the stuff sometimes. Like eating the Girl Scout cookies, or drinking the hot cocoa, or use the nice smelly lotions.... And now that I know what my love language is, this makes perfect sense to me now. I've always felt that it's stupid for me to want to save rather than savour, but I can't help it. Now I don't have to feel stupid about it. I know it's just my love language, and that I should just dig right in to all that stuff. ;)

What is the point in all this, you ask, if not a very elaborate hint that my birthday is coming up? It's not a hint. (Honestly. I love getting things, yes, but at the same time I also feel guilty about it, too. At least in cases like birthdays and graduations and stuff, where it seems like it's just expected-- especially if you have parties or send out invitations-- that people should get you gifts. So please, please, please do not take this as a hint.) No. The point is how happy getting random things in the post makes me. And to say thank you-- to all of you who send me things. Big things, little things, old things, new things, food things, anythings. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Because you're speaking my language. =D

Some things that have made my day lately:

To keep me warm, and remind me of Pulaski... I can't even tell you how excited I was to pull this blanket out of the box! Maggie, you are awesome!

Yum... peanut butter.... *drooling* This is the best stuff. =)

It's probably hard to tell from the photo, but this is a hand-made card from my church family. They made them and sent them on the weekend-away (I didn't go). This is the first time they have done something like this, made some effort outside of Sunday service to say they notice when I'm not there and all. It made me feel really good. =D

So there you have it. If you get some random thing from me-- gifties of little stuff, you never know-- know that's just my way of saying *I love you*.


Jennie B said...

I'm sorry but you are crazy, how can you have a box of samoas sitting around and not EAT them? That is nutso you freaky, gold digger you! LMAO!

OK OK, I liked your subtle hint, but you have yet to tell me what you really really wanted. I can wrap Lex up in a bow for you (and all his figurines are all sold out, ha ha) so I guess I will keep perusing. :)

Kinda sad though, not one thing that I sent you was pictured in your blog. I'm sure I have sent you things, like a water bottle, a calendar, guacamole mix, biscuits. sigh I see only things that don't come from IL or WA are included?? sniff sniff

Amie Vaughan said...


These are things I've received in the past two weeks. I haven't gotten anything from you in the past two weeks. Sheesh.

Lex in a bow sounds perfect, thanks. =D

Barb said...

I can definitely see that as your love language. And, in case I didn't say so before, thank you for the lime with thai spices crisps and caramel shortcakes. THey made my day. So I completely understand and appreciate your gift giving love language. =)

So, birthday girl, since I can't figure out how to send a bus pass, what can I send (that isn't too expensive to mail)?

maggie226 said...

I'm so glad that you like the blanket. : )

And when IS your birthday? Yes, I know you said it's coming up, but when? Ya know, just in case.

AND- can you find the recipe for a (for you) local favorite dessert? It's served at Stirling Castle (where we had it) and is near impossible to duplicate for us so far. Basically it's shortbread with caramel on top and chocolate on top of that. But it is SO much more than's a little piece of heaven on a plate. At least for Kirk it is.

If you know of this dessert and have the means to obtain a recipe, that would TOTALLY rock. (If not, no biggie, as the "not quite right" versions we make in attempts to recreate it always taste good.)

Anonymous said...

Since you like giving and receiving thoughtful gifts, you should really check out Wishwrap ( They have gifts for every special occasion, and each gift is really thoughtful. You can select a wish to be sent with any gift as part of their customized packaging!

Barb said...

your friend wants the recipe for caramel shortcakes. Oh, I miss those!!!! I tried making them soon after I got back, but they tasted NOTHING like the Scottish version. So sad. If you find a recipe for her, could you copy me? =)

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Pulaski?? Which Pulaski?? I teach in a town called Pulaski (shh...don't tell anyone.) Just curious.

Guess I'll have to check out that Love Language thingy and get back to you. In the meantime, my birthday is Saturday!!!:)

Thanks for your comment today; I'm glad it helped. I would like to know more about your thesis...can you refer me to a post?

Masimba Tyrranus said...

Gifts do make the world go round, at least for the people who give and receive them, and parcels are the axes on which this rotation occurs. Okay, that sounded better in my head. Anyway, this is confirmation of what we already knew. Thank you for loving us with your tokens as much as we love you. Hopefully between birthdays, graduations, and Acts of Random Kindness we can continue to remind each other just how marginally we tolerate each other. Nice Peanut Butter. Someone must really like you.