So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish

If I were doing a *Life. Is. Not. Fair* series, this would be the third time's a charm. But I'm not... officially, anyway.

Well, it's happened again. And I don't like it any more this time than I have the other times. Okay, I like the stuff. I like stuff. But if I only get stuff because my friends are leaving, then I would happily do without the stuff. Sheesh.

Yup. Another couple of friends have gone and abandoned me. And left me with some goodies. Which I guess is a parting gift for me, or something like that.

No, the stuff isn't fish. The only fish I have currently is one frozen breaded cod fillet in the freezer, and one can of tuna in the cupboard... and I bought both of them myself. But that's the quote that keeps going through my head when I think about this phenomenon of being abandoned by friends who leave goodies behind with me. Ten points to the first person who can name the source! =D

Why am I talking so much about the stuff? Well, because I don't want to think about my friends leaving. But I will. In relation to the stuff they left me.

What kind of goodies have I gotten? Well, the first time (when the Cornells left me abruptly) I got about two tons of food, a coffee grinder (oh yeah, Rich knows Kenny and I pretty well), clothes for myself and my bubbee, great toys and books for my bubs as well, and I bought off them a computer and desk and chair and roll-out bed and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember right now. It was quite a haul... but that still didn't make up for my family leaving me (even though I was happy for them, because they felt it was the right move). =( The next time, it was Barb. Mean old Barb, refusing to transfer to Aberdeen to finish her PhD with me. I just don't understand that. ;) But that time, I got linens and electricals and boots and other stuff that I'm forgetting now as well. Sheesh, I have a terrible memory, apparently! So again, good stuff-- but did it make up for me losing my sistah and sightseeing buddy and personal photographer? No, it didn't. This time, I racked up on the kitchen ware-- Corel and Pyrex cooking dishes (with lids!) and another good bit of food and baking supplies-- from Hannah and Cam. But just because I can use those dishes to make good Southern cooking (which we all enjoyed together) doesn't make me miss them any less.

*Sigh*

In the next few months, more and more and more of my friends are leaving. I guess it's that time... I've been here for going on four years now, and most of the people that I started with (and who I have gotten to know well over the past few years) are either finished already or are finishing up soon. Even my supervisor and his family are leaving for a sabbatical in the States! I'm not looking forward to this mass exodus, even as I am celebrating with my friends their new beginnings-- babies, jobs, new adventures of all kinds in all kinds of places. At least I'll have loads of places to stay when I want to travel. ;)

And I have to admit... as much as I am dying to go home asap to see my new niece and my bubbee, part of me wants to be around here for the farewells to my friends. Who knows when I'll see them again, if ever? (I try not to think of that too much, actually) I have had one set of friends who left while I was home (that would be Tom and Sarah), and I'm not sure if that makes it easier or not. It makes it easier to be in denial about it, anyway. ;) So while I am not by any stretch of the imagination putting off finishing just to stick around here this summer, there would be some good things about still being here for a few months-- like spending as much time as I can with my dearly departing friends (tee hee), and seeing all the summer films for practically free with my Unlimited Card. Sad, but true. =D

I suppose I should look at all these times of leave-taking and new beginnings and so forth as part of being a pilgrim in this world, as new opportunities to make new friends, as times of celebration for having known and been blessed by these relationships for whatever amount of time. It's not easy, though. It's still hard. I don't like it. Even though I am as much to blame for the leaving people to pursue my own calling, I hate the good-byes. And I hate how never-ending it feels, like this cycle will never be broken, and I'll forever be saying hellos (and putting time and energy and emotion and effort into making new friends) as well as good-byes.

I guess I should just stop making friends, stop caring about people, stop being in relationships at all. That's the only way I can think of to keep this from happening, to keep from being heart-broken and devastated at no longer seeing my friends on a regular basis, to not cry regularly over the people I miss.

Yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen! =D