Friday 24 July 2009

An Open Apology

I just sent the following email around to everyone in my address book, but since I know there are folks who stop by here but aren't on my list, and I also know that my address book may be out of date, AND because this'll repost on Facebook for those friends there, as well... I'm reposting. =)

Hi, family and friends,

I have been meaning to and trying to write this email for ages, but it just hasn't gotten done. Til today. Obviously. =)

I want to apologise for being such rubbish at keeping in touch the past, oh, year or so. As some of you know from experience, being a PhD student is hard in ways that I never anticipated. The stress is incredible. As much as I love being in Aberdeen (and I truly do), it's hard to be here away from all y'all, especially when life is a revolving door of relationships here. I have been blessed by the people I have known, and am blessed by the people I'm getting to know now... but it's still hard. Some of you also will know that I've had some random health issues over the past three or four years that have left me exhausted pretty much all the time. My GP (I have a new one now) is trying to finally work out what's causing my tiredness, which makes it hard for me to focus in order to get work done. Hopefully we'll get that sorted soon, as I am dead tired of being dead tired. =)

In addition to all of that, it has been emotionally a horrible year. I don't want to go into it, but it has been hard on me. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with all that junk, and my defense mechanism when I get depressed is to withdraw into myself. Hence the reason you haven't heard from me in so long. It's counter-productive, really, as the times I'm blue are when I most need my family and friends, people who know me, around. But that's what happens, and I lose all motivation to actually call or write. I have great intentions, and it stays on my to-do list, but I just can't muster up the energy to actually do it. That has, for the past year, also included working on my thesis. I have very little to show for the past year, but have graciously been granted a year's extension to finish. By May 2010, one way or another, I'll be done. Thank goodness.

So. That's me in a nutshell right now. I am leaving this afternoon to go to Dublin for the weekend with a new friend, Paige. We're seeing U2 tomorrow night, and I am so excited! I decided that before I headed out, I WOULD write to everyone and apologise for being pretty much non-existant for the past long while. There are reasons, but no good excuses. I miss y'all, and think of you often, and would love to hear from you. And I'll try to do better about keeping in touch.

Yours Truly,

PS-- I hope I haven't missed someone. If you happen to know of someone who might wonder where I've been for the past forever, please feel free to share this with them. =)